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| Amber Gartung |
QUOTE
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
— Thomas Edison
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS
Classmate uses my laptop during a group project. No time to clear browser history. Hold breath with each keystroke.
HAIKU
Your upstairs neighbors
Stomp around at four AM
Deflate their tires
OVERSEEN AND OVERHEARD
“We’re gonna be some gassy girls tonight!”
- Overexcited flatulent females at John’s Tex-Mex.
“That’s not the kind of thing you say within earshot of complete strangers in public.”
- Fellow restaurant goer in response to the above exclamation.
WORD OF THE WEEK
VIVISEPULTURE n. - The act or practice of burying people alive.
Because vivisepulture was not unheard of on the island, Mathias decided to avoid any suspicious looking characters brandishing shovels.
STREAM OF FACTS
Jim Carrey sought the help of a Navy SEAL to teach him torture-resistance techniques while working on “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” in 2000. The prosthetic makeup that Carrey wore took three hours to apply and throughout the shooting day it became unbearable to wear, hence the need to LEARN the techniques.
There is truth to the notion that what students LEARN in college might not always direct them to their future careers. There are over 5,000 janitors in the U.S that hold PhDs, leading some to believe that too much emphasis is placed on higher education in this COUNTRY.
It’s hard to find a COUNTRY that Emil and Liliana Schmidt haven’t been to. The Swiss couple has been on a road trip since 1984, all while driving the same Toyota Land Cruiser, and has gone to every continent except Antarctica. They currently hold the Guinness World Record, which doesn’t look like it’ll be challenged ANY TIME soon.
There is a phenomenon in New York City where ANY TIME Subway fares are increased, the price of Pizza goes up with it. Since the sixties, the “Pizza Principle” has maintained that due to inflation and other factors, the price of a ride on the subway and a slice of pizza go UP almost identically.
Juliane Koepcke survived a fall from 10,000 feet UP in 1971 when her plane was struck by lightning and exploded in mid-air over Peru. She was still strapped into her chair as she fell, which most likely saved her life. She was the lone survivor of the 92 passengers, which included her mother.
RIT BLACKLIST
Intrusive Apartment Inspections
There’s nothing more unpleasant and alarming than being woken up by frantic banging on your front door accompanied by the screeching, flashing Hell-storm known as the UC doorbell. By the time you make it to door, you’re certain that someone outside is either being chased by a masked serial killer or the cops found your fingerprints at the scene of that thing we agreed not to talk about. But alas, it’s nothing more than your friendly neighborhood safety inspector.
There’s something about pseudo-authority figures that most young people are predisposed not to like. Even when you’ve done nothing wrong, you can’t help but get a bit nervous as they poke and prod around your place of dwelling, like maybe you left something out that you wouldn’t want a stranger to see. But they’re just doing their job, so you can’t get too mad. Just cool it with the buzzer next time.
