Stu Barnes

Friday, 4:08 p.m.
Rings, I got a ticket for a two week expired inspection from Officer [Farva] of the Brighton Police, so I friended him on Facebook, but he won’t accept!
(from text)

Thursday, 7:36 p.m.
Dear PDA couple: Please stop sleeping on each other in Java’s. No one wants to see that!
(from text)

Wednesday, 4:30 p.m.
It’s the middle of January, and there is sun in Rochester... Get to the bomb shelter quick! Somethin’s a brewin’!
(from text)

Tuesday, 8:30 p.m.
I really wish, “Because you’re a [lint-licker]!” was an appropriate answer to some questions girls ask. (from text)

Friday, 7:53 a.m.
There is a HUGE snowman next to the tiger... I don’t know whether to be impressed or if I’m still woozy from last night!
(from text)

Thursday, 6:35 p.m.
I just saw a man... dressed as a woman. He looks way better as a chick! I’ve been at RIT too long!
(from text)

Wednesday, 8:54 p.m.
So, I just found out that the kid I’ve been hooking up with has a girlfriend, but better yet — she’s a junior in high school. Hello?! Aren’t there laws against that!?
(from text)

Thursday, 1:19 p.m.
Last night, I got cock-blocked by the Colby fire alarms.
(from text)

Monday, 11:55 a.m.
There is a door the size of a medium-sized midget in the handicrapper on the third floor of the Wallace Library. I’m praying to [the Wizard of Oz] I don’t get [man handled] by a midget!
(from text)

Sunday, 3:06 p.m.
I just took out my recycling, and it was all mini muffins boxes... Is this the most awesome or most depressing thing ever?
(from text)