All calls subject to editing and truncation. Not all calls will be run. %Reporter% reserves the right to publish all calls in any format.
Friday, 1:23 p.m.
So I want to know why The Real RIT challenge wasn’t in Colony. Global Village was built a year ago. My high school art teacher lived in Colony when she went here about 30 years ago, and back then they called it “Colony Manure.” (from voicemail)
Friday, 9:15 p.m.
So Rings, when they announced obesity was a big problem in America, I thought it was a total bull, but now from what I’ve seen, we indeed do have obesity ― even the cars, they take up two or three spaces to park! (from text)
Saturday, 2:18 p.m.
Dear Spongebob, You’re yellow, you do karate, and you suck at driving. Don’t think we haven’t noticed. Sincerely, The Asians (from text)
Sunday, 11:04 p.m.
Four-legged shower monster AHH! Oh wait that’s just my RA with their boyfriend... normal. (from text)
Sunday, 6:46 p.m.
WTF, I just high-fived Ritchie, and he replied with a fist to the face. (from text)
Monday, 10:03 a.m.
Since when did M&P turn into home-ec?? Please tell this girl sitting next to me stop knitting her dog a sweater!! (from text)
Tuesday, 3:47 p.m.
Breaking vegetarianism is like [cha-cha-ing with] a freshman... You know it’s wrong but you just crave that tender flesh. (from text)
Wednesday, 11:43 p.m.
Great recipe Rings. Start off with a blackberry, add in two girls from different cities, stir up the convo to a boil, and then send an “I love you Girl A” to Girlfriend B back home. Let sit for 5 seconds and you get your instant relationship status change. Polygamy isn’t in my future. (from text)
Thursday, 12:23 a.m.
My friend just stopped over to Colony to show me a surprise in the back of my apartment. It was a dead deer. What’s wrong with these people? (from text)
Thursday, 4:39 p.m.
As an employee of Sol's, I’m pleased to inform you that we will only be playing gangsta rap and heavy metal music from now on. (from text)