Justyn Iannucci

Haiku

Learning needle point.

More blood than a Slayer song.

I’m not great at this.

First World Problems

A hopeless U of R student tries using the Lion King meme to mock RIT and misses the joke entirely. Nice try, but that’s our language.

Word of the Week

Xanthodont n. - One who has yellow teeth.

As the daughter of a dental hygienist, Margot could never see herself with a xanthodont.

Quote

“I feel sorry for people that don’t drink. When they wake up, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”

- Frank Sinatra

Overseen and Overheard

“I’m going to be way too drunk to care if we talk about WoW”

— Frat guy to pretty girl

“No swearing in class, shit!”

— An awesome professor

Reporter Recommends

Spring Break Road Trip

This land is your land. This land is my land. I don’t remember the rest of that song, but you get the point. With Spring Break less than a week away, what better way to recover from finals week and prep for the last quarter of the year then by taking to the great American Highway?

With Rochester being where it is, there’s a ton of directions you could go. You could head up to the lush forestry of New England, over to the charming grit of the east coast, down to the warm weather and fried everything of the south or out west like the pioneers. Split up the gas money, find some couches to crash on and stock up on Doritos.

Also keep in mind that nothing strengthens or destroys friendships like being trapped in a tight space together for hours on end. Someone’s going to talk too much, someone’s going to snore and you’re all going to smell. But if you can make it through without killing each other, few experiences make for better stories, photos and memories than a good old fashioned road trip.

Mixtape Therapy

So the end of the world is coming up, as I’m sure you’ve heard. The Maya called our number centuries ago and according to them, we’re all screwed. Knowing what we now know, you can either treat the coming apocalypse as a somber experience, or a reason to party. If you take the party route, you’ll need a soundtrack so you can go out in a blaze of glory, whether it be by meteorite, flood or zombie apocalypse. And let’s face it; in the days of Newt Gingrich and ketchup being declared a vegetable, we kinda deserve whatever is coming to us. —

Tommy Tucker — “Sign of the Judgment.” This song is as much an ode to Judgment Day as it is an epic “I told you so.”

Turbonegro — “All My Friends are Dead.”If you are one of the last survivors of whatever comes around to wipe out humanity, you can hum this little ditty while feasting on the corpses of your loved ones. I don’t think they’ll mind.

Amon Amarth — “Twilight of the Thunder God.” What is it about Swedish bands and the apocalypse? Anyway, I know where I’m not going to be come December.

Johnny Cash — “The Man Comes Around.” Only Johnny Cash could make the end of days sound so awesome. I don’t know who “the man” is, but apparently he’s coming to fuck shit up.

John Coltrane — “My Favorite Things.” Many might choose to reflect on the good times before we meet our makers, and Coltrane’s soothing ode to “The Sound of Music” should help you cope.

The Misfits — “Death Comes Ripping.” So chances are the end might not come too peacefully, so if it is a screaming ball of flaming hell-shit, Glen Danzig and the boys from Jersey have got you covered.

Bring Me the Horizon — “Pray for Plagues.” I can’t understand a single word in this song, but based on the sound, the rage here is biblical. I’m pretty sure at least one of those ten plagues sounds like this. Probably the frogs.