Published March 14, 2008
Profect From Protica
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At first look, the test tubes of Profect protein drink look like they’re going to be fun, delightful, and even delicious. According to the accompanying pamphlet, Profect is for medical patients who have special protein needs and is suggested for almost anyone from teenagers to pregnant women to burn victims.

A single 2.9-ounce vial will provide you with 25 grams of protein. (By comparison, a 6-ounce steak packs around 40 grams of protein). Profect claims to have a palatable taste with a smooth texture, all without the heavy use of flavoring and sweeteners. It is also hypoallergenic. For $5 plus shipping, the website sells a sampler kit with four randomly selected flavors. If you happen to like one of the flavors, you can purchase a kit of four specific flavors for $11 plus shipping.

Cracking open a tube, I took a sip of Cool Melon Splash. The initial flavor was somewhere between bland and slightly decent. That was until the aftertaste kicked in. Very suddenly, it became like warm creamy Jell-O with a hint of horrible. I asked my friends to try a few sips. Some complied, but then immediately handed the drinks back to guzzle down water. After having experienced their flavor, second year Industrial Design major Steve Caruso commented, “I’d rather drink steak from a blender.” I have to admit that the blended beef would probably taste much better. However, the looks on peoples’ faces as they sipped were priceless enough; it might make for a great April Fools’ joke.

Take a sip at profect.com.

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