Thursday, 9:38 p.m.
Yeah, Rings? I’m on co-op, and tonight while
I was making dinner (a can of soup), I didn’t
have a can opener. So, I used something else.
Well, needless to say, I found the can opener
after I found the first aid kit.
Friday, 1:15 a.m.
Hi Rings. You know whenever you’re passing
a Campey Safus, [fudge], Campus Safety
officer, or officella, like, female officer, you
know, you feel paranoia no matter what,
even if you haven’t done anything wrong. I
wonder why? You’re tweaked out. What are
they going to do, get out and throw doughnuts
at you?
Saturday, 10:53 p.m.
Rings, I am so
close to committing
public urination,
and I feel
just awful for all
watchers who
are affected.
Sunday, 10:59 a.m.
Hey, RIT , could you please fix all of these [lovely] potholes by
Riverknoll before my car gets completely raped by them?
Sunday, 6:50 p.m.
Okay Rings, what the
[omitted] is up? It’s Sunday.
I thought St. Patrick’s
Day was tomorrow, which
is Monday, when it normally
is. Apparently, the
[holy] Pope thinks that he
can do whatever he wants
and declared St. Patrick’s
Day to be yesterday, [altering]
it all up and letting
us not drink the way we
were supposed to. I was
very unprepared and very
unhappy.
Sunday, 11:10 p.m.
RIT, I want to let you know that I have invented the greatest
drink in the history of mankind. Two shots of Jäger in
a pint glass; fill it up with a Cranberry-Raspberry from
Sam’s Club. I call it “the Destler.” It’s Sunday night. It’s
Destler night.
Friday, 4:46 p.m.
So yeah, I’m just chilling, hanging
out in my apartment, when our
doorbell starts ringing. I get up to
answer it, and it’s two maintenance
guys asking about our heater. You
know, our heaters are all fine, so
they gave me the maintenance request
and said, “Look.” I look at the
name on the paper and say “There’s
nobody by the name of Edward Wolf
here.” So, apparently our Student
Government President doesn’t know
what apartment he lives in, which is
totally cool.
Friday, 9:21 p.m.
Hey, I just got done reading
that special insert about
recycling, and then one of
my friends took it, ripped it
up, and put it in the trash.
I can’t wait to go back to
Portland, Oregon.
Sunday, 3:54 a.m.
Yo, RIT! Why do we have fake rocks? Tuition’s like
30,000 a year and we have fake rocks outside our
buildings. We can’t afford [cursed] real rocks?
What [in Satan’s fiery doom] is that?
Sunday, 4:41 p.m.
Hey Rings, didn’t we used to be the Techmen
instead of the Tigers? So think about
that for a second. Only a thousand other
colleges and high schools are Tigers, so
why couldn’t we just be the Techmen?
But then I guess you’ve got to ask yourself,
“What is a techman?” I’m thinking it’s
a cyborg, so think about that: our mascot
could be Terminator. That’s [awesome]!
We could blow [stuff] up on a daily basis!
Who wouldn’t want to be that?
