To whoever keeps putting bubble bath
soap into the useless fountain near
Global Village, YOU ARE MY HERO.
RIT now has two—COUNT EM—2 swings.
I can now rest well at night knowing
that my tuition dollars were well spent.
RINGS, I’m looking forward to
hearing from you! Can’t wait to
see all the fancy euphemisms
you put over our complaints
about the [liquid love] trees.
I am at the lounge by Beanz at
3 a.m. finishing homework as the
awkward couple on the couch
in front of me are making out
and getting into it...
AM I INVISIBLE?
Playing a LORD OF THE
RINGS DRINKING GAME
with my girlfriend after a
good [HOBBIT-HOLING].
TOP THAT, NERDS.
Please be considerate of others when
taking your shoes off in study lounges.
THERE BE SOME FUNK IN THARR.
WHY DID YOU TIP ME TO GET FRISKY
IN THE LIBRARY? This tip just makes
me more wary of THE STAINS IN
THE BOOKS I do check out.
Uhhhh RINGS? I just saw a jogger try to chase
after a goose by going off the walking path and into
the grass. THAT [SPITEFUL WOMAN] WENT
OUT OF HER WAY.
Heyo RINGS! I found RITchie. Where my
money at? DON’T MAKE ME ADD TO
MY KNEECAP COLLECTION...
