Published May 9, 2008
At Your Leisure
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Alex Salsberg

Stream of Facts

Skittles are rumored to have been invented by a man named Rick Walden, a worker for Mars who became bored during a business meeting and started to punch holes in Starburst candies. His boss saw the circular results scattered all over the table, and the idea for Skittles was born. This occurrence is neither endorsed nor denied by the Mars candy company.

Originally conceived as a club designed to alleviate boredom, the Ku Klux Klan began as a society club for former Confederate soldiers, by former Confederate soldiers. The ideals weren’t more friendly, of course; they are still quite similar to those of today. It was only when General Nathan Forrest started to lead the clan that it grew into a radical and often violent group of vigilantes.

Roman society during the Golden Age dictated that any man found guilty of adultery should have every single one of his pubic hairs ripped out. Not only that, a large radish (or an acceptable substitute of relatively the same size and effect) would then be shoved up the Roman man’s rectum.

Commonly used in Greco-Roman cooking, the extinct plant known as silphium once formed the crux of trade for the area. It also had medical uses and was the primary herbal contraceptive at the time. This sexual concept, combined with the fact that silphium seeds are shaped like the modern day symmetrical heart, has lead many scholars to believe that the heart symbol may have been derived from these seeds.

Reporter Recommends

Making nihilist jokes. For starters, check out Uncyclopedia’s Nihilist page at www.uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Nihilism and be prepared for the joke that doesn’t actually exist. I won’t spoil the surprise for you, just check it out. Then, while you’re cruising through Uncyclopedia, you may as well check out RIT’s page for something of a little more substance. I guarantee you will discover at least one fact about the college you weren’t aware of. For instance, did you know that former President Al Simone taught Murderface Murderface (of Metalocalypse) to play bass with his penis? Neither did I, friends, neither did I.

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Quote

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
Albert Einstein

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