Saturday, 4:06 p.m.
I just heard a freshman telling other freshmen that there is a “secret” floor in the Wallace Library … which is just the fourth floor. Oh, freshmen.
(from text)

Wednesday, 12:06 p.m.
My 2-D Design teacher saw ladybugs humping and called it “mini-porn.”
(from text)

Wednesday, 8:02 a.m.
You know what’s a great idea? Repaving all the walkways in one area with brick right as school starts.
(from text)

Sunday, 3:04 p.m.
I FOUND OUT YESTERDAY THAT YOU CAN CALL THE REAL COPS AT THE PROVINCE. So now the loud [hooligan] on the first floor can SUCK MY JUDICIAL [baton]!
(from text)

Saturday, 8:16 p.m.
During the power outage, a guy standing outside UC freaked out and screamed, “Quick, we need to drink all the beer before the fridge gets warm!”
(from text)

Sunday, 2:18 a.m.
Dear RIT, Please make “Microwaving Popcorn 101” a required course. All you can ever smell in these damn dorms is burnt popcorn! Thanks.
(from text)

Monday, 12:55 p.m.
I’m walking by [Orange Hall] and they’re putting up fake brick on the sides. FAKE BRICK. [Curses be upon ye], fake brick!
(from text)

Wednesday, 3:00 p.m.
A girl outside of Crossroads said, “Let’s get down to business,” and it took all my willpower not to sing back “TO DEFEAT...THE HUNS!”
(from text)

Tuesday, 8:30 p.m.
Dear Rings, I’m afraid I have caught the RIT syndrome. I have stopped wearing make-up and two guys walked by me and I knew they were quoting “Lord of the Rings.” Help me get my femininity back!
(from text)

Wednesday, 11:49 p.m.
Rings, Cosmo is super knowledgeable. Did you know you could kill a girl by blowing into her [hooha]?? You can call me the oral assassin.
(from text)