Quote
“Humanity has advanced when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious and immature.” — Tom Robbins
Word of the Week
jejune - adj. lacking nutritive value; devoid of significance or interest.
Only in an alternate universe could a fire-juggling Tyrannosaurus be seen as jejune.
Definition taken from http://merriam-webster.com
Word Scramble - Flammable Stuff
- rlmueb
- eolgaisn
- plnama
- idsomu
- eaprp
- hcolalo
- smhctae
- rlhacoac
- stabteire
Haiku
By now, you’re likely
Wishing you had studied more.
Oh curse thee, Week Five!
Limerick
There is a section named Leisure
That will soon make Jamie Arn queasier.
He’ll weep every night
As words he does write
Wishing his job could be easier.
Overseen and Overheard
“I can’t play Pokémon; it’s not fucking realistic.”
— Male student in SAU
“It looked really hairy, it was gross.”
— Male student in Booth Hall
“My dog has cataracts.”
— Female student outside Lowenthal Hall
Reporter Recommends
What the Fuck is My Social Media Strategy
Media strategy is pretty awesome; with the possible exception of literary analysis, no other form of writing allows you to write so much about so little. It’s not unlike a peanut butter and jelly sandwich where the peanut butter is pretension and the verbosity is jelly. Yet, sometimes you find yourself trapped in life’s metaphysical kitchen. It’s 4 a.m., and although you’re scraping the heck out of the bottom of that proverbial jar of Goober, nothing’s coming out. Damn.
But before you head back to the drawing board, why not peruse the alternatives? WTFIMSMS is a site devoted to providing you with the highest quality mission statements and media strategies. With the click of a button, it automatically summons the perfect strategy for your site, which I would like to imagine is handpicked by a team of kittens and unicorns. It’s quite the deal, and if you don’t like your statement, simply hit the refresh button — voilŕ! Even better is the cost: free.
Find out what the fuck your social media strategy is at http://whatthefuckismysocialmediastrategy.com
Stream of Facts
Now in its 16th year, the Emma Crawford Memorial Coffin Race is an annual CONTEST held in Manitou Springs, Colo. Contestants, arranged in teams of five, design and race a wheeled coffin.
In December 2007, a Greenpeace CONTEST to name a rescued whale went viral after voters chose “Mister Splashy Pants” as the winning NAME.
Partially due to its NAME, sales of SPOTTED dick — an English pudding made of beef fat and currants — have been declining over the past decade.
Female SPOTTED hyenas have pseudo-penises, which makes it easier for them to manage POTENTIAL mates.
ScientificMatch.com, a Boston-based dating site launched in late 2007, attempts to match POTENTIAL couples through DNA testing. Despite the idea’s allure, a one-year MEMBERSHIP costs a hefty $1,995.95.
British actor Hugh Laurie is the most recent celebrity recipient of the coveted Burger King Crown Card MEMBERSHIP. Laurie is one of only 12 celebrities to receive the card, which grants its owner an eternity of free Burger KING grub.
In 2001, a 16-year-old teen was arrested on charges of treason after throwing a strawberry tart at KING Gustav XVI, who was SWEDISH.
In 1996, a SWEDISH couple protested Sweden’s naming restrictions by ATTEMPTING to name their child Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.
In March, a man was arrested after ATTEMPTING to shoot the corpse of former RUSSIAN leader Vladimir Lenin.
In 2007, RUSSIAN officials celebrated the launch of the new S-400 Triumph missile system by having an Orthodox priest bless the missiles with holy WATER.
In 2006, Waldron, Ark. mayor Troy Anderson was discovered to have discounted several prostitutes’ WATER bills in exchange for SEX.
Researchers have condensed why humans have SEX into 237 unique reasons, according to a 2007 study by the University of TEXAS at Austin.
A San Antonio, TEXAS high school garnered controversy in mid-2008 for a pilot program that used GPS anklets to TRACK frequently truant students.
The eleventh TRACK of synth-pop duo I Am The World Trade Center’s debut album — released on July 17, 2001 — is titled “SEPTEMBER.”
The name of the month SEPTEMBER is derived from the Latin “septem”, which means seven. September was originally the seventh month in the Roman CALENDAR.
In 2008, the Church of Latter Day Saints began publishing “Men on a Mission,” an annual pinup CALENDAR featuring topless PHOTOS of muscular Mormon missionaries.
Efficient organization and management of PHOTOS is a problem for many computer users, according to RESPONDENTS of a 2006 survey conducted by the Corel Corporation.
In 2001, over 70,000 RESPONDENTS to the AUSTRAILAN census identified their religion as “Jedi Knight.”
In 2006, AUSTRAILAN scientists discovered Polyrhachis sokolova, a species of ant that can live UNDERWATER.
UNDERWATER volcanic activity over 20 million years ago led to the formation of ICELAND.
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| Justyn Iannucci |
