Ever seen a girl from across the room who looked like she was exactly your type but, when you talk to her, you find there’s nothing to talk about? That’s exactly how I feel about The Murderdolls’ second album, “Women and Children Last.” Between the campy B-horror-movie imagery and pun-tastic song titles like “Drug Me to Hell,” this should have been a fun, gory horror punk and heavy metal slugfest. After all, this is what’s expected from front man Wednesday 13. Unfortunately, the record falls victim to its own image and comes out as underwhelming as the latest “Nightmare on Elm Street” remake.
The Murderdolls have been described as Motley Crüe meets The Misfits, which would be a fair description if “Women and Children Last” shared any of the flair or attitude associated with those legendary rock acts. But it doesn’t. This time around, the whole album was written by Wednesday 13. With Slipknot drummer Joey Jordison on lead guitar, the two just seem to be grasping at bloody straws. This genre is known for being over the top and never taking itself seriously, but this album feels like they’re phoning it in before the killer even gets in the house. There are no chills and no thrills. The only spills fail to make a mess or an impression. The guitar riffs and solos are far from catchy or impressive, and the lyrics are either trying too hard or not trying hard enough. Either way, nothing about this record really gets your heart racing.
Wednesday 13’s first solo record, “Transylvania 90210,” showed exactly what this style of horror punk could offer when stitched together properly, but this latest album is less of a nasty slasher and more of a nagging paper cut. You can ignore it if you focus hard enough, and you’ll forget it shortly. So what to do with “Women and Children last?” I wouldn’t waste a shallow grave.
Rating: SKIP IT!