Saturday, 12:34 p.m.
[Kilgore Trout] wants to know why lady gaga has a [disco stick]. Can you help him out?
Monday, 12:47 p.m.
Hey Rings, I just wanted to let you know I carved a pumpkin death star and it’s pointed at you.
Sunday 5:27 p.m.
Dear Art Students, making loud noises and being weird for the sake of being weird does not compensate for not having personalities. Learn math or something useful.
Saturday, 12:42 a.m.
Rings, its two o’clock in the morning and I just invited a boy over. I wasn’t serious. Oh, but he was. Now I have to shave my legs. Awesome.
Thursday, 8:12 p.m.
What crack head says that MacGregor’s wings are second best in Rochester? My friend worked there and trust me... you don’t wanna know how they are made.
Tuesday, 5:26 p.m.
so my friend just asked me to get BWW with him. since when does that stand for Buffalo Wild Wings and not big white women?
Sunday, 10:45 p.m.
Hey Rings! I just saw a random person in a sleeping bag passed out in Perkins. He was probably a caterpillar or something sleeping-bag-related for Halloween.
Monday, 6:09 p.m.
Hey Rings, I just saw a girl eating berries off a tree in November, and then she frolicked away with her arms spinning like a windmill. It was not okay. Those berries can’t have been berries.
Thursday, 9:57 a.m.
Yup, it’s that time of the term again... The time each term when I weigh the pros and cons of dropping out of school and joining the adult film industry.
Thursday 9:42 p.m.
Ring ring. Who’s there? I don’t know, this is a text message. I’M TEXTING YOU WITH LOVE IN MY HEART AND BOOZE IN MY SYSTEM!! Uhm… I just said the phrase “girl bits” in the last three, well now four, text messages. What the creak, Rings?