Zachary Retz

QUOTE

“You don’t need to worry what foreigners think about you; that’s your birthright as an American.”

STREAM OF FACTS

The Nazis were responsible for the explosion of the raccoon population in Germany. In 1934 future top Hitler aide Hermann Goring approved the release of the non-indigenous critters into the wild for breeding and hunting. Since then, their RESILIENT population has exploded into the millions.

A RESILIENT Japanese man named Mitsutaka Uchikoshi survived 24 days in the cold without food or water by falling into a state of hibernation. After getting lost on a rock climbing trip, the 35-year-old was found with almost no pulse, organs that had shut down and a body temperature of 71 degrees. His case is being regarded as “REVOLUTIONARY.”

REVOLUTIONARY leader and former Cuban dictator Fidel Castro has outlived at least ten U.S. presidents. There were a number of assassination plots aimed at Castro, including a proposed exploding cigar, poisoned fountain pens and a lethal wet suit, yet he SURVIVED.

A Japanese soldier from World War II SURVIVED 29 years in the jungle during and after the war. He adhered to the Japanese Army’s policy of never surrendering and was informed that the war was over upon his capture in 1972.

REPORTER BLACKLIST

Show World

The Blacklist is a section reserved for institutions at and around RIT that have worn out their welcome. This week, we look at Show World.

Located on Brighton Henrietta Town Line Road, this shady, adult entertainment warehouse seems like a fun place to goof around when there’s nothing else to do late at night. It’s not.

Every “marital aid” in there feels like it would be better marketed toward your parents than your peers. The dead-eyed staff eyes you down while slurping Chinese food. And honestly, how many flavors of personal lubricant are there? It’s not candy for Christ’s sake.

Depending on how well you know the friends you went with, uncomfortable elements of their sexuality can come to light once eyes start lingering on certain DVD titles. And forget about having some goofy, free-spirited date. Once you and your significant other end up in the dildo section, things will undoubtedly get uncomfortable.

So for being an awkward merger of capitalism, human sexuality and plastic-wrapped sadness, Show World, you’ve been blacklisted.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

Pressed wrong button on vending machine. Now I have to drink a Mountain Dew and a Diet Mountain Dew.

Got citation for public intoxication and lewd behavior while urinating on the Sentinel at 5 a.m. Fascists.

WORD OF THE WEEK

Lethologica n. — The inability to remember or recall the correct word.

Bubba’s lethologica was becoming a major problem; he could never remember the right word to describe not knowing the right word to use.