Published January 18, 2010
“Avatar’s” Gonna Win the Golden Globes Anyways
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A jaded film student's take on the big night.
Joanna Eberts

As you’re reading this, James Cameron is crossing the T’s of his acceptance speeches for the Golden Globe awards. He’s up for four: “Best Director,” “Best Motion Picture,” “Best Original Score,” and “Best Original Song.” Complain you may about how clichι “Avatar” was, the fact remains that it will earn best picture at both the Golden Globes and the Oscars. The way we see it, you can bitch and moan or succumb to the downward spiral that is denial, slowly fading away into insanity where the boundaries of an organization-run award ceremony do not exist and resources for creating your own cognitive awards are endless.

So don your mental tuxedos and gowns, and join us for the inaugural Reporter Magazine Digital Award Show and Banquet. And the winners are:

Most Overrated Film — “Up In The Air”

Most Underrated Film — “Antichrist”

Conclusion Most Likely To Piss You Off - “A Serious Man

Best Film With Contribution By a RIT Faculty Member — “Coraline” (Tom Gasek)

Best Horror Film — “Drag Me to Hell”

Best Independent Production — “Paranormal Activity

Best Film to Exploit Death — “This Is It”

Most-likely to be Forgotten Within a Year — “Tyson”

Most-likely to Piss Republicans Off — “Green Zone” (Yeah, it’s a 2010 film, but it’s our ceremony!)

Dullest Story — “Blind Side”

Best ‘College’ Sitcom — “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”

Best Visuals — “Inglourious Basterds”

Best Date Movie — “Sherlock Holmes”

Best to Drink To - "Hangover”

Most Timeless — “Public Enemies”

Most-likely to Need a Second Viewing — “Inglourious Basterds”

Best “Guy Film” — “Terminator Salvation”

Best Chick Flick — “500 Days of Summer”

Biggest Waste of Money — “2012”

Best Director — “District 9”

Film of the Year — “Up”

Everyone’s a critic, and everyone has his or her own tastes and opinions. The same thing that makes the world rich with diversity makes it impossible to dub a work in any particular art form as “the best.” Films like “Precious” and “The Hurt Locker” are great productions and definitely worth the recognition of your nine dollar ticket and time. If you prefer, “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel,” hey, that’s cool too. The fact that we live in a place and time where so much is available and totally optional is a beautiful thing.

When considering that option and how to invest your time in it, there are a few things to keep in mind:

First and foremost, everyone’s thoughts are valid. Respect and consider the opinions of others, but don’t let them dictate how you feel. It’s not high school; you don’t have to fit in with the big sunglasses or plaid shirts. Besides, in most films the best characters are the outcasts anyways.

Second: the all-important rule, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Be like a sponge ― absorb everything you can get in contact with and grow rich with the mildew of knowledge.

And finally, remember critics have the easiest job in the world. They get paid to watch movies and complain. Their reviews have about as much accuracy to your tastes as a Wikipedia article does to your research paper. Sometimes they get it right, but do you really want to take their word for it? If you want insightful advice on what art to indulge in, text your mother about what she’s seen lately. Otherwise, form your own opinions.

Yes, this is college; you have no time, you’re broke... We get it. If you are going to watch one film from 2009, however, check out “We Live In Public.” It’s a documentary (hey, remember no judging) highlighting Josh Harris’ webcam experiment where 100 human subjects lived in a 24-hour spotlight and commenting on the dangers and impact of the internet age. No four stars attached; just a friendly suggestion. We think you’ll, at the very least, find it interesting. Then again, maybe you’ll hate it, in which instance our case in point.

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