Note: This story appeared in our April Fools Distorter issue and is for comedic value only.
by Imma Beliver
The Golisano College of Computing and Information Sciences was handed a huge surprise last week, and no, it wasn’t a couple more million dollars for whatever innovative thing they’re doing these days. The surprise was a hefty lawsuit. The suit, which was filed by the Kampus Krusades for Khrist, alleges that GCCIS, commonly pronounced “Jesus,” is using the Lord’s name in vain.
Perry Alexander, a KKK servant, was the initiator of the lawsuit. Alexander said, “I decided enough was enough. We were all tired of hearing people say they were going to Jesus, only to realize they were really talking about the building and not about finding the Lord.”
The KKK filed for GCCIS to change their name so that it can no longer be referred to as Jesus, along with 12 million dollars cash in unmarked bills. The lawsuit also includes a clause that any student who continues to refer to the building as “Jesus” will have to attend 10 bible study meetings and say 400 Hail Marys in the presence of the servants.
Carlos Hinke, Dean of GCCIS, saw no real threat in this lawsuit. “Frankly, I read it and laughed. We’ve been GCCIS since Golisano gave us a lot of money to name our building after him. Why do they have a problem with it now?”
GCCIS isn’t just going to hide behind their computers on this attack though. They’ve filed a counter suit citing the abbreviation for Kampus Krusades for Khrist leaves the few members of the RIT community who know they exist quite uncomfortable. GCCIS is seeking a respelling of their name and a drop of the suit against them.
Keep checking http://distortermag.com for updates on this battle of acronyms.