Note: This story appeared in our April Fools Distorter issue and is for comedic value only.

by Chastity Tiler

Walking into his first class on March 8, second year Accounting major transfer student, Troy Klein thought something was a little off when his packed classroom was completely silent.

“It was an 8 a.m. on a Monday, so I thought maybe people were just tired,” said Klein. He took a seat and waited for class to begin. As the clock ticked past eight, Klein watched as the presumed teacher began to move her hands rapidly at the students. Wondering what was going on Klein turned to the person next to him and asked them what class it was.

“When I said something and they didn’t even blink, it was like I was speaking a different language,” Klein recalled. He shrugged the incident off, assuming this was some sort of new student initiation.

Klein applied with RIT’s paper application. There was no indication that anything was wrong until he went to class.

“All correspondence I received from RIT seemed pretty standard to me. I even showed it to my folks,” said Klein. “When I had the exact same experience in my second class, I was pissed.”

Seeking out an explanation, Klein went to undergraduate admissions. There he was told he was registered as an NTID student and needed to speak with their admissions office instead. Klein insists RIT was giving him the runaround.

“No one wanted to help me, or take responsibility for the fact that I was in classes where I, you know, couldn’t hear anything,” said Klein. “What’s NTID anyways?”

Currently, Klein is failing all of his classes. He is still confused but is hopeful for his future in the army after he drops out of RIT.