Wednesday, 9:40 p.m.
Jesus liked to party too! He turned water turned into wine!
Thursday, 3:22 p.m.
Just wanted to let you know that the Java hipsters are reproducing...saw them chilling outside the library with a tatted baby that was smoking a cigarette.
Thursday, 6:35 p.m.
I just saw a fish in the UC pond. It must be a super fish bred to survive that water.
Friday, 2:10 a.m.
Holy [Harry Potter], I’m a wizard!
Friday, 4:33 p.m.
Just passed by a group of students staring at the infinity quad statue as they attempt to figure out what symbol it makes when it spins. I wish I was joking.
Saturday, 4:08 p.m.
I just pooped my pants.
Saturday, 11:36 p.m.
Rings, I’m Soo0bdee3eRrrr!
Sunday, 12:19 a.m.
If I have a nudist party in Colony Manor, is it a nudist colony?
Sunday, 7:16 p.m.
Yo Rings, I’m eating veal, and it’s damn good. What up PETA?!
Sunday, 3:02 p.m.
A couple in the lab did the upside down kiss and referred to each other as Spiderman and Mary Jane... I know, I puked in my mouth too.